The Genetic Connection with the Baby

An advantage of gestational surrogacy is that one or both intended parents can be biologically connected to the child. The prospective parents will provide the eggs and/or sperm used during the IVF process to create an embryo that will be transferred into the surrogate mother’s uterus. This biological connection often makes surrogacy a great option for people who feel strongly about having a genetic child. Additionally, being biologically related to the child can help simplify the legal paperwork.

In adoption, by contrast, the birth mother is genetically tied to the child, and the pregnancy is often unplanned. This typically means that the prospective parents will not be biologically related to the baby, which can make the legal process more complex and lengthy. According to the National Council for Adoption, private domestic adoptions account for a significant share of infant placements in the US each year, and in the vast majority of cases, the adoptive parents have no genetic link to the child.

The Costs Associated with Adoption and Surrogacy

Whether you decide to go with surrogacy or adoption, you will be responsible for most expenses during the process. These expenses normally include legal costs and agency fees. However, if you pursue surrogacy, you will have additional expenses due to the fertility treatments and surrogate compensation. Domestic adoption through an agency typically costs between $20,000 and $50,000, according to the US Department of State, while surrogacy in the US generally ranges from $100,000 to $200,000 — making surrogacy significantly more expensive than adoption in most cases. For a detailed breakdown of what surrogate-related costs include, see our guide on surrogate mother costs.

The Matching and Screening Process

Even though many adoption programs allow adoptive parents to define some criteria, it is often the birth mother who selects the potential family. It is also important to understand that a birth mother has the right to change her mind before she signs the consent forms relinquishing her parental rights. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, state laws vary on whether a revocation window applies after consent is signed, ranging from no revocation in some states to up to 30 days in others. This uncertainty can make adoption an emotionally demanding process that prospective parents need to be prepared for.

In surrogacy, the matching process is a mutual decision that takes place before the pregnancy begins, so there is no child involved yet. Both you and your surrogate will have the chance to decide if you are a good fit before moving forward with the medical and legal processes.

Your Involvement During the Adoption and Surrogacy Process

Adoptive parents often have limited control over the adoption process, and depending on the birth mother’s personal circumstances, they may not be involved during the pregnancy. Until the birth mother signs the legal consent forms, she retains the right to change her mind, which can create significant emotional uncertainty for all parties involved.

When it comes to surrogacy, a legal contract is put in place before the process begins, clearly stating the rights and obligations of each party. Thanks to this agreement, there is no ambiguity about the surrogate’s role in carrying the baby for the intended parents, nor about the level of involvement and contact expected throughout the pregnancy. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that all surrogacy arrangements include thorough psychological screening and legal counseling for both parties before any medical procedures begin.

The Legal and Medical Process

Surrogacy is a complex medical and legal process. It involves a planned pregnancy created through medical procedures, and a legal contract that outlines the role and responsibilities of each person involved. Most of the legal work is completed before the baby is born, which reduces the risk of unexpected complications along the way.

The same legal and medical procedures are not required in adoption. Instead, the legal aspect of adoption is handled after the baby is born, once the birth parents have legally consented to the adoption and custody has been granted by the court. The Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the US Department of Health and Human Services, provides detailed state-by-state guidance on the post-birth legal steps involved in adoption.

Pros and Cons of Adoption and Surrogacy

Taking these five differences into account, here is a summary of the pros and cons of both options to help you make a more informed choice.

Adoption

Pros

• The birth mother chooses adoption after becoming pregnant, so you do not need to worry about whether a pregnancy will occur.
• Adoption creates a stable home for a child who needs one.
• It is generally less expensive than surrogacy.

Cons

• The baby will not be biologically related to the adoptive parents.
• Adoption can be uncertain. The birth mother has the right to change her mind before signing consent forms, and in some states, for a limited period afterward.
• Adoptive parents often have no control over the prenatal environment and may have limited information about the child’s medical history.
• The birth mother’s pregnancy is often unplanned.

Surrogacy

Pros

• A baby born through surrogacy can be biologically related to one or both intended parents.
• Surrogacy offers more certainty, with legal protections in place before the pregnancy begins.
• The process is always planned, giving intended parents greater control and involvement.

Cons

• The surrogate may not become pregnant on the first attempt, and there is a possibility that IVF will not succeed.
• Surrogacy is significantly more expensive than adoption.

Adoption or Surrogacy: Which One Is Right for You?

Even after learning about the advantages and disadvantages of these two options, it can be difficult to decide which path is right for your family. If that is the case, take your time and ask yourself these questions:

• Are you comfortable with uncertainty in the family-building process?
• Do you want a relationship with the person carrying your child during the pregnancy and after the baby is born?
• How long are you willing to wait for a child?
• What is your budget for family building?
• Do you want a child who is genetically related to you?

Final Thoughts

Many things need to be considered when choosing between adoption and surrogacy. However, the most important factors are your personal circumstances and the needs of your family. Research your options thoroughly before committing to either process.