After Birth: Essential Tips for a Smooth Recovery and Baby Care
After birth, both parents and baby enter a crucial period of adjustment. It’s important to focus on recovery, bonding, and establishing healthy routines. Proper care, rest, and support ensure a smooth transition, helping both mother and newborn thrive during these first vital weeks.
Most surrogate mothers talk about this with their intended parents before the baby comes, and they just want what is agreed upon between them.
In the first 6 months, most surrogates seem to want a bit more contact, you have to remember that not only do they have the separation from the baby that they have helped to create and worked so hard to bring into this world, but when the baby comes and the communication dies down between surrogate and Intend Parents there is often more separation anxiety felt by the surrogates(especially the single surrogates, from what it seems) so they want the contact with you so they don’t get overwhelmed with both separations at once…and it helps to make them feel less like a baby machine.
In the first couple weeks after the baby is born, most would like some interaction with you as a family; it helps confirm their beliefs in surrogacy when they can see the love that they have helped to create. But they don’t want to be overwhelmed with your presence, a few hours a day is enough.
Most surrogates want to stay in contact after but this can be simple things like sending pictures every couple of months, or as most seem to think simply staying in contact through being Facebook friends, so they can watch your child grow and live with you.
While they understand the excitement of a new baby, they would also like to feel like they still matter to their Intended Parents and be asked how they are feeling or if there is anything they need.
This is often contingent upon the relationship between surrogate mothers and their Intended Parents, some will have more contact…in most cases, after the first year contact probably changes to occasional contact and that seems to be the normal way things go. Below you will find some advice:
Weeks 0-2
Daily contact, surrogates want to confirm they made the right choice and they also want to see that they were more than just a baby carrier.
Weeks 3-6
Contact every couple of days, this seems to be more about the relationship between IPs and surrogates than about the baby, as the body starts to heal, they will begin to feel the separation they have from the relationship with the Intended Parents.
Weeks 6-24
Contact once or twice a week is fine. Most surrogate mothers are back to their normal routine by this point and find it really nice to get short texts like “How are you doing?” or receive milestone photos of the baby, as it grows through stages like rolling over, sitting up, crawling, laughing- it reminds them of the joys they experienced with their children while they hit those milestones. It shows and validates their choice in you as an Intended Parent.
After 6 months
Contact will die down in most cases (unless you have developed a strong bond with your surrogate mother, which happens occasionally) to special occasions and an occasional hello. Most surrogates are more than happy with a few times a year at this point. Most are content with just remaining Facebook friends where they can see your child grow and see the family love through your posts.
This is something that we recommend you talk about with your surrogate, in the end it all depends on your relationship with her. Treat your surrogate mother with respect. There is no hard and fast rule about doing this. Just go with the flow and treat her as you would treat a friend.
It’s also important to remember that if your surrogate mother has a great experience, she’ll be keener to help other intended parents!
FAQ
How much contact do surrogate mothers usually want with intended parents after birth?
In the first couple of weeks after birth, surrogates often want a few hours of interaction daily to feel appreciated for their role. After the first 6 months, most surrogates are comfortable with occasional contact, such as milestone photos or short messages.
Why do surrogates want more contact in the first few months?
During the first 6 months, surrogates may experience separation anxiety, especially single surrogates. Regular contact helps them feel valued beyond carrying the baby and reduces emotional stress from sudden separation.
How should intended parents maintain contact over time?
Weeks 0–2: Daily check-ins to reassure the surrogate and acknowledge her contribution.
Weeks 3–6: Contact every few days as the surrogate’s body heals and emotional separation sets in.
Weeks 6–24: Weekly or biweekly messages with milestone updates are appreciated.
After 6 months: Occasional messages or social media interaction are sufficient for most surrogates.
What kind of communication is best after the first year?
After the first year, most surrogates are happy with contact on special occasions or occasional messages. Many prefer staying connected via social media to watch the child grow without frequent direct interaction.
How does the relationship between intended parents and surrogates affect contact?
The level of contact often depends on the bond formed during the pregnancy. Stronger relationships may maintain more frequent interaction, while others settle into occasional communication. Mutual respect and understanding are key.
