Finding the right surrogate is one of the most important decisions intended parents will make during their surrogacy journey. While it can be done through an agency it can also be done online.
This is one of the first questions that intended parents who are pursuing an independent surrogacy need to consider. However, before choosing this type of surrogacy, IPs should learn as much as possible about the surrogacy process, including local surrogacy regulations. When the IPs have considered all the variables and are certain they want to pursue an independent journey, they can move on to the next step: finding their ideal match.
Methods for Finding a Surrogate Online
There are several ways to find a surrogate on your own, however, before you embark on your search, you should keep two things in mind.
- There are women who want to become surrogates who will meet the surrogate requirements.
- Not every potential surrogate will want to pursue surrogacy without the support of an agency.
As with other aspects of the surrogacy process, it’s important that you learn about the pros and cons associated with the different search methods. Speaking of which, these are the most used:
- Classifieds portals: In these portals, intended parents typically create “surrogate wanted ads” or “surrogate needed ads.” These ads detail the kind of surrogate they are looking for, including information such as location, age, type of surrogate (traditional or gestational), compensation, etc.
- Social media groups: There are many matching groups on social networks like Facebook. These groups allow intended parents to create an introductory post to their members. Matching groups are also a good place to find information. You will find people who are in different stages of the process who can share their experiences and offer advice.
- Online communities: These are great for intended parents and prospective surrogates to connect with each other. Usually, they have surrogacy blogs that contain updated information about the process. This information can be particularly helpful at the beginning of your journey.
- Surrogate finder websites: These are websites that connect intended parents and surrogates.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Looking Online
It is quite possible to find a surrogate online – many people do. Nevertheless, there are pros and cons associated with the process. Consider the following before you decide to search for a surrogate online.
The Internet significantly increases the number of potential candidates. Also, it increases the geographic scope of the surrogate search, which may be especially helpful for parents who live in a region where surrogacy is banned.
Online searches also offer an important economic benefit: the prospective parents save on matching fees normally charged by agencies.
That said, there are some disadvantages. For example, some candidates may be more interested in money than altruism. They may charge premium fees because they know that the intended parents don’t have to pay agency fees. Of course, this is not always the case, but it’s something to consider. Also, it’s important to know a surrogate’s motivations as this will allow you to determine if they are in line with your own. (This is particularly important if you are looking for an altruistic or low-compensation surrogate.)
Another thing to consider is that independent surrogates are not normally prescreened. This means that they may be found ineligible for surrogacy once they complete the medical and psychological screening.
Finally, when looking for a surrogate independently, you will need to manage the different steps of the process. It can be a daunting task, however, some intended parents rather like having control over the various steps of the process. Whichever kind of intended parent you are, be sure you learn as much as you can. This will enable you to prepare for each step of the journey.
Let’s answer a few commonly asked questions surrounding affordable surrogacy and finding a finding a surrogate online.
Does independent surrogacy keep costs down for intended parents?
Surrogacy is a costly process, however, looking for a gestational carrier can make the process more affordable because you won’t have to pay surrogacy agency fees.
Can private surrogates choose how much they are paid?
Yes, going independent gives you some freedoms when setting your own compensation fees. However, it is likely that you will have to negotiate these fees with the potential surrogate without an intermediary.
Where can I find a free surrogate mother?
Truthfully, it is rare to find women who are interested in a complete altruistic surrogacy. Women who choose this type of surrogacy usually know the prospective parents on a personal level (they might be siblings or close friends) and choose to become surrogates for them.
What is the cheapest way to find a surrogate?
If you are looking to find a free surrogate, you might start by looking at your own network for a friend or relative who might be willing to help you achieve your dreams of parenthood. Otherwise, you’re going to have a time tough finding a surrogate for free.
While it’s not always easy to find a surrogate on your own it is a viable option because there’s ton of information available online (the Internet is an absolute gold mine). When you’re looking at profiles, doing research, etc. be sure that you use your best judgment and that you take the time to find the perfect match.