How to Find Intended Parents for My Surrogacy Journey

When you decide to become a surrogate mother, one of the big choices is finding the right intended parents. It’s an extraordinary decision because you’re helping a couple become a family. If you’ve made this choice, you probably want to know how to find parents looking for a surrogate.

You have two options to choose from:

  • Do your own search via advertisements and personal networking.
  • Work with an agency that provides these services for you.

Looking for Intended Parents with a Surrogacy Agency

The best surrogate agency provides comprehensive surrogacy services, including the crucial task of finding intended parents who share your desires and expectations.

If you opt for an agency to help you find intended parents, the agency will assign a specialist to create your surrogacy plan and find the right fit.

The Easy Way: Surrogacy agencies make the process smoother. They handle many aspects, including connecting you with intended parents who share your goals.

Why Should You Use an Agency?

There are many reasons to hire an agency for your surrogacy plans. These include but are not limited to:

  • They help you make a surrogacy plan and better understand your concerns and goals for this journey.
  • They can offer professional services and find the right IPs that share your goals and concerns.
  • They screen the intended parents to ensure your safety and commitment to the surrogacy process.
  • They deal with the whole surrogacy process, offering support and services to both the intended parents and the surrogate.

Considerations with an Agency

You do have some challenges to overcome when you work alongside an agency, such as:

  • Prospective surrogate mothers undergo a rigorous approval process – more detailed than IPs looking for surrogates for themselves.
  • Agencies have a wide pool of intended parents that surrogate mothers can be matched up to.

Suppose you finally decide to work with a surrogacy agency. In that case, you need to be aware that there are plenty of top surrogacy agencies, and there are several things you should consider first to choose the best surrogacy agency.

Looking for Intended Parents without a Surrogacy Agency

You don’t have to use an agency to find intended parents; you can do it on your own. While this path presents some challenges, it is a real option. If you don’t personally know any couples who want to have a baby but can’t, then you do have the following options:

After you have found some prospective intended parents, you need to screen them to be sure they fit into your surrogacy goals and plans. Ask a lot of questions and be meticulous before matching.

The DIY Approach: You can do it independently, but it’s more challenging. You’ll need to search for intended parents without professional help.

Why Finding Intended Parents without an Agency?

It can be challenging to find intended parents yourself, but it can be done. What are some of the reasons to consider becoming an independent surrogate?

    • The screening process and intended parents’ requirements are up to you. You may find intended parents who are right for you but would not satisfy an agency’s criteria.
    • You don’t have to limit the number of prospective parents you can meet (intended parents tend to work with just one agency).
    • The only professionals you may need are a fertility specialist and a lawyer.

Challenges with Independent Surrogacy

As with anything else, there are drawbacks to doing your own search for intended parents. Pursuing independent surrogacy presents additional challenges you’ll need to overcome.

  • You must handle the screening process for the intended parents. You need to determine if their goals align with your own. Are they safe to work with? Can they financially and emotionally handle the surrogacy process?
  • You must ask them difficult questions and be open to negotiations and communications. This can be difficult and put a strain on the relationship.
  • Finding intended parents for surrogacy can take longer, and this can be somewhat unpredictable and tedious.
  • You must take care of everything in the process – from the beginning to the end.

Important Questions to Ask Your Intended Parents

Choosing the right intended parents is a deeply personal decision, and communication is essential to ensure that both surrogate and intended parents are on the same page.

No matter how you find intended parents, as a surrogate, there are several questions you should ask:

  1. How dedicated to the surrogacy process are you?
  2. For how long have you considered surrogacy?
  3. When would you like the surrogacy process to start?
  4. What type of relationship is important to you before, during, and after the surrogacy process?
  5. How many embryos would you like to try transferring at one time?
  6. Will you use an egg donor, or do you have eggs yourself?
  7. When your children are old enough to understand, will you tell them about the surrogacy process?
  8. How supportive is your family of the process?
  9. How will you be involved in the entire process?
  10. What kinds of interests and family values do you have?

Additionally, you should have open conversations about important decisions such as amniocentesis, selective reduction or abortion , if necessary. What to Discuss:

  1. What happens if an abnormal ultrasound result occurs, and the surrogate refuses amniocentesis?
  2. How do they feel about invasive diagnostic tests?
  3. What to do if something goes wrong during pregnancy?
  4. What are your thoughts regarding termination?

You’ll know from the answers to your questions if the prospective parents you have found meet your goals. If not, then you’ll have to start the process of finding intended parents over, but at least you’ll know what kind of parents you don’t want.

Wrapping Up

Finding intended parents for surrogacy is a personal journey. Whether you choose an agency or go it alone, communication is the key. Ask questions, share your hopes, and make sure you find parents who share your dreams of creating a beautiful family together. This guide equips you with the knowledge and tools to embark on this rewarding path with confidence.

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Written by David
I work daily to make surrogacy available to as many intended parents, surrogate mothers and egg donors around the world as possible.
1 Comment
  1. Great post and great advices! It has been very helpful to better understand what options I have

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