How to Find Intended Parents for My Surrogacy Journey

In order to have a successful surrogacy journey, it’s crucial to find intended parents who are the perfect match for you

One of the biggest decisions you can make in life is becoming a surrogate mother for some prospective intended parents. It’s a decision that comes with a lot of emotion and excitement as you’re making it possible for a couple to become a family. If you’ve recently made this decision, you probably want to know how to find intended parents – a couple or a single in search of a surrogate mother for their unborn child.

You actually have two options to choose from:

  • Do your own search via advertisements and personal networking.
  • Working with an agency that provides these services for you.

Looking for Intended Parents with a Surrogacy Agency

A Surrogacy Professional Can Help You Find Intended Parents

A surrogacy agency offers most, if not all, of the services required in the surrogacy process. One such service is to find intended parents that fit within your surrogacy plans. The agency will screen the couples and connect them to the surrogate mother who shares their desires and goals.

If you opt for an agency to help you find intended parents, the agency will assign a specialist to create your surrogacy plan and find the right fit.

Why Should You Use an Agency for Your Surrogacy Plans?

There are a plethora of reasons to hire an agency for your surrogacy plans.  These include but are not limited to:

  • They can come up with your plan and profile, and help you better understand your concerns and goals of the surrogacy process.
  • They can offer professional services and find the right IPs that share your goals and concerns.
  • They screen the intended parents to ensure your safety and commitment to the surrogacy process.
  • They deal with the whole surrogacy process, offering support and services to both intended parents and the surrogate.

What Kinds of Issues Can You Have with an Agency?

You do have some challenges to overcome when you work alongside an agency, such as:

  • Prospective surrogate mothers go through a rigorous approval process – more detailed than IPs who are looking for surrogates for themselves.
  • Agencies have a wide pool of intended parents that surrogate mothers can be matched up to.

find intended parents

If you finally decide to work with a surrogacy agency, you need to be aware that there are plenty of top surrogacy agencies and there are several things you should consider first, in order to choose the best surrogacy agency.

Looking for Intended Parents without a Surrogacy Agency

  • Doing Your Own Search for Intended Parents

You don’t have to use an agency to find intended parents; you can do it on your own. How can you do this successfully though? After all, you don’t have the resources as an agency does! Or, do you? If you don’t personally know any couples who want to have a baby, but can’t, then you do have the following options:

After you have found some prospective intended parents, you need to screen them to be sure they fit into your surrogacy goals and plans. You also want to be sure they’re the ones for you, for safety reasons. Through this method, most IPs don’t go through a background check, in-home assessment or another screening requirement an agency would put them through.
For that reason, you need to be meticulous about each intended couple you meet before you start the surrogacy process.

  • Why Should You Do Your Own Search of Intended Parents?

Yes, it can be difficult to find intended parents yourself, but it can be done. What are some of the reasons to consider searching yourself?

    • The screening process and intended parents’ requirements are up to you. You may find intended parents who are right for you but would not satisfy the requirements of an agency.
    • You don’t have to limit the number of intended parents you can meet (intended parents tend to work with just one agency).
    • The only professionals you may need in the entire surrogacy process is the fertility specialist and a lawyer.
  • What Kinds of Issues Could You Have with This Searching Method?

As with anything else, there are drawbacks to doing your own search for intended parents. In fact, doing your own search presents additional challenges you’ll need to overcome.

  • You must handle the screening process for the intended parents. You need to figure out if their goals are in-line with your own. Are they safe to work with? Can they financially and emotionally handle the surrogacy process?
  • You must ask them difficult questions and be open to negotiations and communications. This can be difficult and put a strain on the relationship.
  • It can take longer to find intended parents, and the process in doing this can be rather unpredictable and tedious
  • You must take care of everything of the process – from the beginning to the end.

12 Important Pre-screening Questions to Ask Your Intended Parents

As a surrogate mother, when looking for the intended parents, without the support of a surrogacy agency, there are several questions you need to answer from them.

  1. How dedicated to the surrogacy process are you?
  2. For how long have you considered surrogacy?
  3. When would you like the surrogacy process to start?
  4. What type of relationship is important to you before, during and after the surrogacy process?
  5. How many embryos would you like to try transferring at one time?
  6. Will you be using an egg donor or do you have eggs yourself?
  7. When your children are old enough to understand, will you tell them about the surrogacy process?
  8. How supportive is your family of the process?
  9. How will you be involved in the entire process?
  10. How do you feel about selective reduction or abortion (if necessary)?
  11. What are you looking for from me during the entire process?
  12. What kinds of interests and family values do you have?

Also, you need to agree on the types of surrogacy options (altruistic/commercial or traditional/gestational).

From the answers to your questions, you’ll know if the prospective parents you have found meet the goals you have. If not, then you’ll have to start the process of finding intended parents over, but at least you’ll know what kind of parents you don’t want.

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Written by David
I work daily to make surrogacy available to as many intended parents, surrogate mothers and egg donors around the world as possible.
1 Comment
  1. Great post and great advices! It has been very helpful to better understand what options I have

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