Surrogacy Challenges

Surrogacy is an emotional and lengthy process that has many moving parts. This article will highlight some of the common challenges encountered when pursuing surrogacy. It will also offer suggestions for navigating and coping with these challenges.

Physical complications

physcial complications

Surrogates have to contend with the typical difficulties of pregnancy such as the risk of miscarriage and birth defects, but they also have to contend with health challenges that are unique to surrogates.

One of the unique health challenges associated with surrogacy is In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Before a surrogate can be artificially inseminated, a study of their medical history must be performed. Also, IVF is usually preceded by medications that the surrogate must continue to take after embryo transfer.

While it is normal for embryo transfers to fail, the experience can still be disappointing. That said, if it happens during the first attempt, intended parents should take it as a challenge worth overcoming because giving it a second try can yield better results.

Financial Investment

financial investment

To ensure that the surrogacy process unfolds safely and within the bounds of the law, you should set aside funds for the process. The bulk of costs comes from medical expenses, logistics, and legal agreements. These are necessary to create a healthy relationship between surrogates and intended parents.

Time Commitment


Surrogacy requires both the surrogate mother and the intended parents to dedicate a substantial amount of time to the process, which can include:

  • Introductions 
  • Meetings 
  • Drawing up surrogacy agreements. 
  • Medical checkups 
  • IVF treatments
  • Regular prenatal care 

The surrogate mother is also likely to receive some counselling to deal with the physical and emotional difficulties associated with carrying a baby to term before she parts with the intended parents.

Many intended parents (especially during first-time experiences) are excited and overjoyed when awaiting the results of surrogacy meetings and pregnancy results. Waiting for such an important experience can put one on pins and needles, therefore, intended parents should learn to cultivate patience. It will help them cope with stress and other challenges that may arise.


Surrogacy involves a significant series of medical analyses, psychological evaluations, and medications that help ensure that a surrogate mother can experience a relatively normal pregnancy. Medications like fertility drugs, which are used to prepare the surrogate for the embryo cycle, require careful planning. There are several reasons for this, one of which is that the side effects can be difficult to handle. Therefore, the surrogate and the intended parents need to have open communication so that the surrogate receives the support she needs.

Emotional Wellness


Intended parents are faced with the challenge of relinquishing some control of the pregnancy to the surrogate mothers and the professionals guiding them through the process. This is viewed as a challenge because involved parties will be emotionally invested in successful outcomes, which means that they will feel more comfortable when in control.

Intended parents need to trust professionals and surrogate mothers so that they can fulfill their dream of creating a family. Part of this confidence will stem from an agreement that ensures that each party’s concerns are duly considered.

Myths Surrounding Surrogacy


The ability to create life remains one of society’s most sensitive and often-discussed subjects. Some intended mothers prefer gestational surrogacy because they want to maintain a biological connection to their children. Others do so because they fear that surrogate mothers may lay claim to children with whom they share biological links.

Contrary to the surrogacy myths, research shows that surrogate mothers understand, and experience pregnancy differently than they do with their children. Recorded cases of surrogates not giving children to the intended parents are rare. The reality is that surrogates see themselves as generous helpers and not as mothers.

It should be noted that this – parental rights – is a significant part of any surrogacy agreement. This document is drawn up to ensure that a consistent set of terms and conditions are agreed upon by both parties before the process begins. Therefore, you will find that formal agreements are recommended by experienced professionals and people who have worked with surrogates in the past.

In addition, there is a negative stereotype that dictates that surrogates are emotionally volatile. This couldn’t be further from the truth because surrogates undergo psychiatric evaluation before being considered viable participants.

Controversial Public Perception


The public’s perception of surrogacy is still mostly negative and controversial. On the one hand, the public perceives surrogates as desperate women who are exploited at the hands of wealthier and more influential intended parents. On the other hand, intended parents receive harsh criticism for choosing surrogacy without providing valid medical reasons that explain their choice. 

What the public seems to ignore is the fact that most intended parents endure reproductive trauma and turn to surrogacy as a proven means of starting a family. 

The desire to have children and start families is quite powerful and nearly universal. Therefore, surrogacy should be a viable option for all those who find it suitable.


Deciding to have children is one of the most important decisions anyone can make. Choosing to become a surrogate is equally important and can be a rewarding and positive experience. However, as with most important things, becoming a parent or a surrogate comes with challenges that require support and patience to navigate effectively. 

MySurrogateMom is a reputable online community that can provide you with peace of mind by connecting you to professionals who will value your experience and who want to help you on your journey toward parenting. MySurrogateMom can also help you get in contact with surrogates, prospective parents, and egg donors who are exploring this path. 

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Written by David
I work daily to make surrogacy available to as many intended parents, surrogate mothers and egg donors around the world as possible.

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