Your Surrogacy Journey: A Guide for Intended Parents

The surrogacy journey is a gratifying path that many hopeful parents embark on when facing fertility issues or family-building difficulties. Surrogacy is likely the most challenging one of all fertility treatments but also the most fulfilling one for all the parties involved.

In this article, we will take you through the surrogacy process, highlighting the emotional aspects, legal considerations, and the extraordinary joy it brings to those involved. So, fasten your seatbelt as we explore the incredible surrogacy journey together.

How Long Does the Surrogacy Journey Take?

The surrogacy journey can vary in duration depending on several factors, including the location, legal requirements, medical factors, and individual circumstances.
On average, the surrogacy process typically takes around 12 to 24 months from the time prospective parents begin their journey until the child’s birth.

Understanding Surrogacy

Surrogacy is a method of assisted reproduction where a surrogate carries and gives birth to a child for the intended parents. The surrogate may or may not be biologically related to the baby, depending on the type of surrogacy chosen.

Educating yourself on how the process works and searchign for surrogacy tips is the secret to having a successful journey.

The Surrogacy Journey

  • Choosing a Surrogate: Intended parents begin their journey by finding a surrogate who aligns with their values and beliefs for the surrogacy experience.
    You can look for a surrogate mother using the matching services of an agency. Alternatively, you have the option to find a surrogate mother on your own through online websites like the MySurrogateMom community.
  • Legal Agreements: The next critical step involves creating a legal contract between the intended parents and the surrogate. This contract outlines roles, responsibilities, and compensation.
  • Medical Evaluation, Fertilization, and Transfer: In IVF surrogacy, pregnancy is achieved via an In Vitro Fertilization process by transferring a genetically unrelated embryo to the gestational surrogate’s uterus.
  • Pregnancy and Delivery: Once the surrogate becomes pregnant, there is a typical 9-month gestation period. During this period, the surrogate’s health is closely monitored.

Selecting the Right Surrogate

Choosing the right surrogate is a crucial step in the surrogacy journey. Here are some useful tips to consider:

  • Medical History and Health: Ensure the surrogate has a healthy medical history and no pregnancy complications.
  • Personality Compatibility: Building a strong, positive relationship with your surrogate is essential. Look for shared values and communication styles that align with your expectations.
  • Previous Surrogacy Experience: Surrogates with prior experience may be more familiar with the process, which can lead to a smoother journey. However, first-time surrogates can also be a good choice if they are committed and well-prepared.
  • Location: Your surrogate should live in a surrogacy-friendly area. Also, proximity can make it easier for you to attend medical appointments, be present during the pregnancy, and develop a closer bond.
  • Lifestyle: Discuss age preferences, lifestyle choices, and other factors that may be important to you.
  • Legal and Emotional Support: Ensure the surrogate has a strong support system in place, both legally and emotionally.

Emotional Challenges

Surrogacy is a beautiful way to bring new life into the world but can also come with emotional challenges. For intended parents, it can be a rollercoaster of hope and anxiety, with the constant fear that something might go wrong during the pregnancy. Surrogates, on the other hand, may experience mixed emotions as they carry and then relinquish the child they carried for nine months. Open communication and support are crucial for both parties to navigate these emotional aspects successfully.

Support for Intended Parents

For intended parents, emotional support is vital during the ups and downs of the surrogacy journey. Connecting with other intended parents who understand the challenges and joys of surrogacy can provide a sense of comfort and reassurance. Below, you’ll find a list of helpful resources:

  • Support groups: These groups offer a safe space to share experiences, concerns, and successes with other intended parents in a similar situation.
  • Online Communities: Join online forums and social media groups to seek advice. You can also connect with a broader community of intended parents.
  • Professional Therapists: Seek assistance from therapists specializing in surrogacy. They can provide personalized support and guidance.

Legal Considerations

The legal aspects of surrogacy vary by country and state, so seeking legal advice specific to your location is essential. In some places, surrogacy is not legally recognized; in others, it is well-regulated. Things to consider:

  • Legal Counsel: It’s highly recommended that both the intended parents and the surrogate have separate legal counsel to draft a comprehensive surrogacy agreement. This contract should cover all aspects of the surrogacy arrangement.
  • Pre-Birth Orders: In some jurisdictions, pre-birth orders can be obtained, establishing the intended parents as the legal parents from birth. This is a critical legal protection for the intended parents.
  • Parental Rights and Adoption Laws: In cases where pre-birth orders are not available, intended parents may need to go through a legal adoption process after the child’s birth to secure their parental rights. The legal framework can differ significantly between jurisdictions.

Surrogate with Parents

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International Surrogacy

International surrogacy involves intended parents from one country working with a surrogate from another. Here are some considerations for international parents:

  • Legal Differences: Surrogacy regulations vary among different countries.
  • Legal Assistance: Seek legal assistance from experts about international surrogacy laws in both your home country and the surrogate’s country.
  • Citizenship and Immigration: Understand the citizenship and immigration requirements for the child born through international surrogacy. It’s essential to secure the child’s legal status and passport.
  • Travel and Cultural Considerations: Be prepared for international travel, cultural differences, and language barriers.

Costs and Expenses

Surrogacy can be expensive. Intended parents should budget for medical procedures, agency fees, legal expenses, compensation for the surrogate, and other miscellaneous costs. Intended parents must plan carefully and be prepared for potential financial challenges.


Surrogacy is a wonderful option for individuals or couples who dream of having a child but face medical or fertility challenges. This method of assisted reproduction offers hope and the opportunity to create a loving family. By understanding how surrogacy works, you can make informed decisions and embark on this extraordinary journey with confidence.

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Written by David
I work daily to make surrogacy available to as many intended parents, surrogate mothers and egg donors around the world as possible.

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