Deciding to embark on a surrogacy journey is likely one of the most exciting and important decisions you will ever make.
The journey has many milestones, but one of the most amazing is when your surrogate confirms that she is pregnant. At this moment, many prospective parents are keen to spread the news – they are a bit closer to fulfilling their dream of becoming a parent!
Breaking the news to loved ones can be equally thrilling and terrifying; so much so, that you might end up wondering, “when do we announce the pregnancy?”
Honestly, there is no right or wrong answer, but there are several points you might want to consider when making this decision.
When to Announce Your Pregnancy?
Many intended parents wait until the end of the first trimester to (twelve weeks into their pregnancy) talk about their surrogate pregnancy.
There are some factors that influence the 12-week mark, such as:
- The risk of miscarriage is higher during this trimester (80% of miscarriages occur during the first 12 weeks)
- Wait until the first prenatal checkup which is usually around week eight but can be later. (It can be reassuring for parents-to-be to hear the baby’s heartbeat or see an ultrasound of the baby. This, in turn, can inspire them to share the news.)
You should be aware that the 12-week mark is not a hard and fast rule. Miscarriages can occur at any time, so if you have shared this information with your loved ones, they will be able to support you if this occurs. However, we understand that this is a very personal and emotional situation and that some folks may prefer not to talk about it.
Ultimately, the decision to share the news about your surrogate pregnancy will depend on your comfort level and that of your family. So, don’t rush things. Do what you feel is best.
When you make the announcement, your loved ones will likely be very glad for you. They are also likely to be curious, so expect them to have questions. While surrogacy is not a new practice, most people are not familiar with it. This leads us to our first tip on announcing your surrogate pregnancy: be prepared to educate others about surrogacy.
Preparing for Sharing the Good News
Before announcing your surrogate pregnancy, be ready to educate your family and friends on the process. It’s important to make things clear and to debunk any myths surrounding surrogacy. Also, don’t be afraid to answer personal questions (try not to take them to heart). They can provide a platform for explaining the positive aspects of surrogacy.
Who Should I Tell First?
At this point, you need to figure out who you are going to tell. Even more important, who will you tell first?
It might make sense to talk about the process with different groups at different times. You may want to tell your closest family members first, then friends, and, finally, your colleagues.
Typically, parents and siblings might expect to be told first. Surrogacy is a rewarding but challenging process that is full of emotions, so having their support as early as possible can be especially comforting.
Choosing How to Share Your Surrogate Pregnancy
Speaking in person with your loved ones is a great way to share the good news and answer any questions they may have. This leads us to our second tip: try to create a casual one-on-one atmosphere. It will help ease some of the stress and anxiety.
Once you’ve talked with your close family and friends, it’s time to break the news to acquaintances and colleagues.
There are different ways to break the news – a phone call, a text message or email, social media platforms – are all great ways to make it public. It’s always said that a picture is worth a thousand words, so if you include a photo with your announcement, it will speak for itself.
In addition, social media provides many different options – Facebook Live, Instagram stories, YouTube, and Pinterest – for sharing the news with your friends and colleagues. Regardless of how you share the great news, remember to have fun with it!
The beginning of your surrogate pregnancy can be both thrilling and terrifying, therefore, try to remain calm. Also, keep in mind that, as in most stages of a surrogacy journey, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to let others know that you are expecting a baby.
In the end, when and how you share the great news is a very personal decision and is totally up to you. You can tell your loved ones right away or you can wait until you know more about how your baby is doing (this might make you feel more comfortable). Then again, you might be a private person and prefer not to make a big announcement. No matter when or how you share the news, one thing is for sure: it’ll surely be a reason to celebrate!