Who Are Intended Parents in Surrogacy? The Complete 2026 Guide

This guide covers everything intended parents need to know about surrogacy in 2026; who qualifies, the medical and legal requirements, real costs in the US ($120,000–$200,000) and Canada ($70,000–$110,000 CAD), how long the process takes, and what to expect from match to birth

What Is the Definition of Intended Parents in Surrogacy?

Intended parents (IPs) are individuals or couples who commission a gestational surrogate to carry and deliver a child on their behalf, with full legal intention of raising that child as their own. The intended parents typically provide the embryo, using their own eggs and/or sperm, or those of a donor, and are recognised as the legal parents of the child from birth through a parental order issued by a court in their jurisdiction.  

The term ‘intended parents’ is used in legal and medical documentation throughout the United States and Canada to distinguish the commissioning parents from the surrogate carrier, who has no parental claim to the child under a valid gestational surrogacy agreement.

Who Are Intended Parents? The People Behind the Journey

There is no “typical” intended parent. The path to surrogacy looks different for everyone.

Intended parents can be from any social class, family unit, or background. However, what they all have in common is a profound need for a child, which led to their opting for surrogacy.

Heterosexual Couples Facing Infertility

It is the most common category of people seeking to become surrogate parents. The majority of them have invested a lot of time and resources in fertility treatments. Trying different methods of IUI and IVF, with fading hopes from the realization of failure.

Some do not create healthy embryos, whereas others have issues with carrying a child. There may be any kind of problems – uterine issues, frequent miscarriages, or too great a risk. In the case of heterosexual couples, surrogacy is often not the initial option, but what they have reached after all other unsuccessful attempts.

Same-Sex Male Couples

Surrogacy becomes the sole way forward for gay couples if they desire to create a biologically related child together. This requires the use of both a surrogate mother and an egg donor.

Gay couples form part of the fastest-growing category of intended parents in the US and Canada. Both these countries provide good legal protection to LGBTQ+ people undergoing surrogacy.

Often gay couples decide that sperm from one of the partners be used, or even sperm from both partners, so that there is a genetic relation with the child.

Same-Sex Female Couples

Surrogacy is often medical for some lesbian couples, whereas it is more personal for others. One of the partners could be medically unfit because of an existing health issue. Or the two partners can opt to use the egg from one partner and the uterus of the other.

Lesbian couples who have failed in many rounds of in vitro fertilization often opt for surrogate services. But some couples do so as a preventative measure.

Single Intended Parents

A single intended parent – regardless of gender – is becoming a common group among those seeking surrogacy. For example, a woman who cannot bear a child for whatever reason might seek out surrogacy. In the case of single fathers, not only a surrogate mother but also an egg donor is required.

Being a single parent by choice is a legitimate option. It is recognized equally in both the US and Canada.

Parents with Genetic Concerns

There are those intended parents who may have some medical issues that they do not wish to pass down to their children. There are others whose children have experienced some chromosomal problems. In both cases, they opt for surrogacy with preimplantation genetic testing. This way, they get a chance to choose the healthiest embryos.

International Intended Parents

Many nations prohibit or regulate surrogacy. This includes most of Europe, Australia, parts of Asia, and the Middle East. International intending parents use the United States and Canada for surrogacy. Canada has become one of the most preferred destinations for international IPs to give birth.

Why Do Intended Parents Choose Surrogacy?

Nobody chooses surrogacy because it is easy. They choose it because everything else did not work.

The reasons why people choose to go ahead with their surrogacy plans can vary from person to person. However, certain reasons remain constant.

1. Infertility and Failed Fertility Treatments

Years of fertility treatment, IVF attempts, implant failures, and miscarriages are some of the factors that lead many parents to opt for surrogacy. These experiences may be full of hope and sadness. For many years, there’s been a great option that has helped many people in surrogacy.

2. Medical Inability to Carry a Pregnancy

The mother who will raise the baby might be unfit to carry a child, or the pregnancy may be a risk. If a woman has an absent uterus (Müllerian agenesis), severe heart disease, or has had cancer, then it may be unsafe for the woman to carry a baby. Surrogacy is not a choice, but a medical need in these cases.

3. Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

Some intended parents have had several miscarriages. Every loss may be accompanied by great grief and questions. They may try some other treatment if the medical tests and treatments fail. Their embryo can develop in a better and more stable uterus with surrogacy.

4. Genetic Conditions

If either or both intended parents have inherited genetic disorders, they might consider surrogacy. These may be inherited conditions such as mutations in the BRCA genes, cystic fibrosis, or chromosomal disorders. Surrogacy can be used in conjunction with PGT-A genetic screening before embryo transfer. This can help lower the chance that they will pass on some conditions to their child.

5. Same-Sex Family Building

Surrogacy is one of the most straightforward ways for LGBTQ+ intended parents to connect to having a child who shares a biological connection. It is usually the only choice available for gay male couples that can provide a genetic connection to their baby.

6. Previous Surrogacy Success

Many intended parents already have a kid via surrogacy. Some return for a second and/or third trip. They know how to do it and believe in it. They wish to expand their family in a similar wholesome way.

What Are the Requirements for Intended Parents in Surrogacy?

Wanting a child is not enough. There are real criteria to meet — medical, financial, and emotional.

There’s a screening process for intended parents by both surrogacy agencies and fertility clinics in the US and Canada. They are there to ensure the safety of all concerned — the surrogate, the baby and the IPs.

Medical Requirements

• Medical Evaluation: Intended parents who contribute genetic material (eggs or sperm) will have to be medically screened at the fertility clinic.
• Sperm/egg assessment: Testing by the sperm donor (intended father), Ovarian reserve testing of intended moms with their own eggs.
• Health clearance: Intended parents will need to provide proof of good health for the sake of raising a child.
• Documented medical need: Most agencies must have a medical need to be identified by a physician to use a surrogate. Social surrogacy (surrogacy for adoption) is not as commonplace in U.S. and Canadian agencies.

Psychological Requirements

• Evaluation of psychological state: Psychological evaluation is often needed for surrogacy agencies.
• Consultations and counseling: Most agencies need regular counseling throughout the process.
• Ability to deal with stress: The evaluation checks whether you can handle stress, failure in attempts, and emotions of surrogacy.

Financial Requirements

• Financial proof: Financial proof is typically needed before the matching starts.
• Escrow funding: Money may be transferred to a neutral third party to hold in an escrow account. This is to ensure that the compensation and expenses of the surrogate are met.
• Insurance coordination: The intended parents must ensure that the surrogate has the proper health insurance.

Legal Requirements

• Surrogacy-friendly jurisdiction: Intended parents need to work in states that legalize surrogate contracts.
• Surrogate contract: A legally binding surrogate carrier contract must be executed before any medical intervention.
• Parental order: The IPs must have a pre- or post-birth parental order issued in their favor for them to be considered the legal parents of the child.

A pre-birth parental order (PBO) is a court order obtained during the pregnancy (typically in the second or third trimester) that legally establishes the intended parents as the child’s parents before the birth. This removes the surrogate’s name from the birth certificate and ensures the IPs are recognised as parents from the moment of delivery. In surrogacy-friendly US states such as California, Nevada and Washington, PBOs are routinely granted. In Canada, parentage orders are available in most provinces except Quebec, where surrogacy agreements remain unenforceable. Intended parents should always engage a reproductive lawyer before signing any contracts. 

Important: Requirements will depend on the agency and jurisdiction. Seek out an attorney specializing in surrogacy laws in your area to know what legal requirements you need to fulfill for your case.

Legal Considerations for Intended Parents in the US and Canada

The regulations surrounding surrogacy vary significantly between US states and Canadian provinces. For intending parents to understand the laws, it is very important.

Surrogacy Law in the United States

There is no federal legislation on surrogacy in the US. The regulations governing surrogacy vary from state to state. There are some states, such as California, Nevada, Washington, and Connecticut, that can be called surrogacy-friendly states, having established legislative frameworks for securing parental rights. However, other states such as Michigan and Louisiana forbid compensated surrogacy.

Key legal steps for US intended parents:

• Before signing any contracts, engage the services of a reproductive lawyer in the surrogate’s state.
• Before beginning any clinical process, make sure that you have a gestational surrogacy agreement.
• Apply for a pre-birth parentage order during the second or third trimester – depending on your jurisdiction.
• The surrogate must have insurance that covers gestational surrogacy – many policies do not.

Surrogacy Law in Canada

Canada is regulated by the federal Assisted Human Reproduction Act (AHRA). The main difference here is that surrogacy in Canada is altruistic. No payment can be made to the surrogate for carrying the baby; only expenses associated with the pregnancy can be reimbursed.

This approach makes the surrogacy process cheaper compared to that in America. But it limits the number of potential surrogates who want to help rather than earn money.

Key legal steps for Canadian surrogacy:

1. Engage a reproductive lawyer in your province before signing any surrogacy agreement. Provincial rules vary significantly, and Quebec does not enforce surrogacy contracts.
2. Ensure the surrogacy agreement complies with the federal Assisted Human Reproduction Act (AHRA), which prohibits payment beyond reasonable expense reimbursement.
3. Apply for a parentage order in your province
4. Confirm that expense reimbursements are documented with receipts. AHRA requires proof of actual costs incurred by the surrogate.

Legal Factor	United States	Canada
Surrogacy model	Compensated (paid surrogacy)	Altruistic only (reimbursements)
Federal law	No federal law — varies by state	Federal AHRA governs all provinces
Most friendly jurisdictions	CA, NV, WA, CT, ME	ON, BC, AB
Restrictive jurisdictions	MI, LA, AZ (limited)	Quebec (most restrictive province)
Pre-birth orders	Available in most friendly states	Available in most provinces
International IPs	Well-established pathways	Strong support, cross-border legal advice needed
Average legal cost	$10,000–$20,000	$8,000–$15,000 CAD

How Much Does Surrogacy Cost for Intended Parents?

Costs associated with surrogacy for intended parents involve a broad spectrum of expenses. These include medical fees, legal fees, agency fees, surrogate fees and expenses, insurance, etc. Each item makes up the total bill.

Cost Component	United States (USD)	Canada (CAD)
Agency fees	$20,000–$35,000	$15,000–$25,000
Surrogate compensation	$35,000–$55,000	Not applicable (altruistic)
Surrogate expense reimbursements	$5,000–$15,000	$70,000–$87,000 (all reimbursements)
IVF / embryo creation	$15,000–$30,000	$12,000–$25,000
Frozen embryo transfer (FET)	$3,000–$6,000	$3,500–$6,500
Legal fees (IP + surrogate)	$10,000–$20,000	$8,000–$15,000
Psychological evaluations	$1,500–$3,000	$1,000–$2,500
Surrogate health insurance	$5,000–$30,000	Typically covered by provincial plan
Miscellaneous & contingency	$5,000–$15,000	$5,000–$10,000
TOTAL ESTIMATED RANGE	$120,000–$200,000+	$70,000–$110,000+

Important note: These figures are approximate. Costs vary depending on the clinic, location, number of cycles required, insurance situation, and need for an egg donor. Always ask for a detailed breakdown from your agency.

Important note on Canadian reimbursements: Because compensated surrogacy is prohibited under the AHRA, Canadian surrogates cannot receive a fee for carrying a child. However, the scope of reimbursable expenses is broad and includes lost employment income, childcare costs, travel to medical appointments, clothing, housekeeping, and prescription costs. This is why the total reimbursement figure aggregates significantly higher than individual cost lines in the US.

An important consideration in favor of frozen embryo transfer (FET): should your initial transfer fail, having other frozen embryos eliminates the expense of undergoing a full IVF cycle. Each later FET is a small part of the original cost.

How Long Does Surrogacy Take for Intended Parents?

One of the most common questions from intended parents is how long the surrogacy journey takes. The honest answer: most surrogacy journeys take 18 to 36 months from the point of agency registration to bringing a baby home. Here is a realistic breakdown:

Stage	Typical Duration
Agency registration and screening	1–3 months
Surrogate matching	2–6 months (varies widely)
Legal contracts	4–8 weeks
IVF / embryo creation (if needed)	2–4 months per cycle
Embryo transfer and pregnancy confirmation	6–10 weeks
Pregnancy	~9 months
Post-birth legal finalisation	1–3 months
TOTAL (typical range)	18–36 months

Note: timelines vary significantly depending on the number of embryo transfer attempts required, surrogate availability, and legal processing times in your jurisdiction.

The Emotional Journey of Intended Parents

The surrogacy experience is unique in that it is like nothing intended parents may have ever gone through before. There will be highs and lows along the way – truly remarkable highs and hard lows.

Before the Match: Hope and Anxiety

The early stages can hold careful hopes. You have decided and done your homework. You have already made your first moves. But the wait to be matched can be daunting. Many prospective parents feel both excited and fearful at the same time. There are many hopes in their minds, yet uncertainty about what the future holds.

During the Match Process: Connection and Nerves

The initial meeting with a potential surrogate may be very emotional. You will be asking her to carry your baby, and so, trust is paramount. Also, she must feel that she can trust you. It will take time and honesty to establish this level of trust and open communication. Some matches will feel instant. At the same time, others may take some more time. In any event, the relationship formed between the intended parents and the surrogate.

The Transfer Window: Pure Intensity

Transfer day is simultaneously exciting and nerve-wracking for many people. This is because the embryo is transferred, where your baby could begin to develop. Following this, the wait starts. Those days from the time of transfer until you have your pregnancy test done seem to drag on forever. Intended parents experience fear, worry, and hope all at once. These are sometimes the longest days in their entire journey.

A Failed Transfer: Grief and Resilience

Not all embryo transfers are successful. In the case of failure, the feeling of grief can be overwhelming. Intended parents may experience grief even when they still have other embryos remaining. One must allow oneself time to grieve the failed attempt. Grieving should never be seen as a sign of weakness. It can be an essential step towards healing. There are many agencies that provide grief counseling during this tough time for their clients. Seeking help could be one of the best decisions of your life.

A Positive Result: Joy — and More Waiting

A positive pregnancy test means joy like nothing else that an intending parent has experienced before. However, it doesn’t end there. Nine months of pregnancy come next. The bond between you and the surrogate grows even closer, with every milestone having great significance.

Birth: The Moment That Changes Everything

The birth of their baby is probably the most emotionally charged experience for the intended parents. They have waited for this for years, dreaming, hoping, and trying.

At the same time, they have gone through months of carrying the baby for someone else. When the baby finally arrives, all this excitement culminates in one event.

It is hard to describe in words how happy they are. For a lot of intended parents, it is all worth it.

How to Get Started as an Intended Parent

When looking into surrogacy, the first step is educating yourself about all aspects of this decision. You need to know what the procedure is like, how much it will cost you, and what the legal situation is like in your state or province.

MySurrogateMom tip: Join our community to connect with intended parents across the US and Canada who are at every stage of the journey — from just starting to celebrating their baby’s first birthday. Real experiences. Real support.

Final Thoughts

Intended parenthood is one of the bravest acts that someone can do. You create your family against all the odds. You put your faith into a stranger, but soon, a partner, with your greatest aspiration.

The journey will be anything but easy. It will include periods of fear, sadness, wonder, and immense thankfulness. But for those who have gone through the surrogacy process, there is one message that you will hear again and again: it was totally worth it.

Commonly Asked Questions (FAQ)

Sources

• American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) — Recommendations for Practices Utilizing Gestational Carriers: A Committee Opinion, 2022. ASRM Practice Committee, 2022.
• Government of Canada — Assisted Human Reproduction Act (AHRA): Overview and Key Provisions. Department of Justice Canada, 2004 (as amended).
• Family Code §7962, California Legislature. Gestational Surrogacy Contracts. State of California, 2024.
• Fertility and Sterility — Outcomes of Gestational Surrogacy: A Systematic Review. American Society for Reproductive Medicine, 2023. 
• Assisted Human Reproduction Act, S.C. 2004, c.2. Government of Canada, as amended 2022. 
• Pacific Centre for Reproductive Medicine (PCRM) — Building Your Family Through Surrogacy in Canada: A Guide for International Intended Parents. PCRM, 2025.